I just need this on my blog because bless this post, this is my life.

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for the anons asking

My illness, what it is and what’s wrong. It all started February 2011. I have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. It’s an invisible illness. I usually don’t mention this because I don’t want to be whiny.. But lately a lot of people have been asking so here you go. I can’t properly explain it to you because neither can doctors, but I can tell you what it’s like. First of all.. There’s a big difference between being fatigued and being tired. Being tired is when you get home from a long day and are tired. Fatigue is standing in your kitchen, cooking yourself a meal and feeling like you might collapse when really you’ve just been out of bed for an hour. Fatigue is walking up a staircase and feeling like you just ran a marathon with a fever. So please never tell a person with a chronic illness “oh I get tired too,” because it’s not the same. You’re ill for 4 days and you know you’ll be better. We’re ill for years, probably decades.

My symptoms (I always have at least 3 of these at the same time): fatigue, headaches, nausea, stomach pain, loss of appetite, heartburn,  earaches, feverish pains, painful legs/arms/hips/back/shoulders/neck/ankles, sensitivity to light, sensitivity to sound, weak legs, dry eyes, stiff/stuck jaw, brainfog, insomnia (I go through periods where I sleep 3 to 5 hours a night and periods where I sleep 9 hours). Symptoms are worsened after any kind of exertion. 

I have fibromyalgia which is the pain in my back, neck, shoulders, arms, hips, legs and ankles tend to hurt so severely it keeps me up at night and touching it will make me scream. I can’t sit up straight for too long, it takes a lot of energy and hurts.

I’m missing out on a lot right now, I want to go out and be a teen as well but I can’t. I can’t go to school anymore and talking face to face is so exhausting. I’ve kind of homeschooled myself and gotten a special teacher for only 1 hour a week. Right now I’m waiting for support from the government so I can be fully homeschooled for kids with an illness but it’s a long process. This probably sounds very dramatic so let me tell you that I’m fine and still laugh a lot daily and do my stupid little happy dances and am a complete dork and am always up for a partaaaay (my body isn’t though).

Many studies have been done. “It’s a virus/bacteria in the blood” “It’s um… a leukemia kinda similar thing!” “It’s the nerves” “It’s a lack of ___”. Nothing. The problem is that not many people have heard of it or take it seriously. Many doctors can’t diagnose you because of lack of knowledge or they simply dismiss it. This disease can be as devastating as cancer, heart disease and epilepsy. Another problem is that you have to go through every single blood test/scan/test before they can safely say “it’s M.E” and then they still can’t explain to you what caused it or what to do. Many people with M.E also have depression. It destroys you. Some people have this for 2 years, some for 20 years or forever. It takes about 6 months to get diagnosed, for some people even longer. People who got it at 15 still have it at 25. Or got it at 25 and still have it at 40. They’re bedbound, have troubles financially because they can’t work and they might have no relationship or friends. 

Now here you have a cute kitten yay

Hi tumblr :] (Taken with instagram)

with my best friend. i’m the one on the right btw.